In my first Oncology Massage class, our instructor read aloud a writing from a woman that described the difference between helping, fixing & serving.  I was in my second year of my private practice & this writing changed the trajectory of my work.  In school, we were asked to define our “why”…but I really couldn’t because I didn’t know what my work would look like in the real world.  I didn’t know what it would be like to work with people who were dying, or clients with complex trauma, or how my work would evolve outside of school.

What I did know, however, was that I loved to serve.  Every job I had prior to massage was focused on serving others & loving on them.  This was EXACTLY why I chose massage.  Massage therapy allowed me to do what came naturally.  When I started working with clients, they would tell me how our massage session helped them be able to do things for themselves (things like clasping a bra or tying their shoes without shoulder pain, crossing their arms and/or sleeping without medication).  I’ve been told that my treatments “feel like home”.  I’ve had videos sent to me of clients demonstrating the things they can now do & I’ve had family members thank me because their loved ones slept better after treatments.  It was in these moments that I discovered my “WHY” – I genuinely care for people & their QUALITY of life.  I want to be someone who creates space for others to feel seen & whole.

This is where the woman’s writing contrasting the differences between helping, fixing & serving changed things for me.  When working with others from the position of “helping”, you see life as weak.  Helping also focuses on the giver & takes power away from the receiver.  When you work from the position of “fixing”, you see life as broken & this also disempowers the receiver.  Contrast both of these to the concept of “serving”.  When you serve you see life as a whole.  Serving, focuses on the receiver & not on the giver.  It provides space for the receiver to feel empowered, safe, seen & heard.  By taking the position of service, I am merely giving the client my gift & providing a safe place to just be.  It is the foundation of trust & connection…which is essential for any relationship, personal or therapeutic.  Serving sets the intention of our work.  In fact, I start every one of my sessions with the question, “How can I serve you today”?

I have since become a mentor for massage students.  This discussion of helping, fixing & serving is one I find valuable to have with each of them.  We dialogue about what they think their “WHY” is & what they’d like to learn in their time with me.  In listening, I learn how to serve them & how to teach them to serve their clients.  Thankfully (and hopefully), they become more client-focused & intentional in their work.  Being rooted in my “WHY” & understanding the difference between helping, fixing, and serving has allowed me to connect with my clients more deeply than I ever imagined.  It has also allowed me to be more fulfilled in my work &  to fall more in love with my job each day!

If you’d like to connect with Joanna, please email or call her at (208) 713-6425.